The "you know your a herp addict when"thread

[Charlet_2007]

I just wanted to start a fun thread

10.Your freezer has more frozen rodents than frozen veggies.....

9.Feeder bill is higher than your food bill.....

8.You go to garage sales to find old furniture to turn into enclosers.....

7.book your work holidays around reptile shows.....

6.Your kids are all het for blue eyes,brown hair etc......

5.If you have ever thought"look an empty cage,what should I buy for it?......

4.If you have ever said to your partner"just one more honey,you wont even know its there,or I need a mate for the 5 females I got last time you gave in.....

3. If all your conversations start with I bought a snake/lizzard/herp ....

2. You have more pics of your herps then your kids or wedding day...

1. You make Christmas cards with your herp in them and not the family...

[Sid]

Natalie, How did you know all ten items on your list described me!!!

[ssssnakeluvr]

I've seen that list before..goes on and on.....and I fit most of them!!!! lol!!

[zooplan]

... you check your herp-forums before leaving home for work

[Snaky]

Let me add to the list:

You basically only have 1 room and the wallpaper looks more like enclosures

[Stefan-A]

I only fit about half of them.


..at the moment.

[Elliot]

Originally Posted by zooplan

... you check your herp-forums before leaving home for work

Does checking it before school count?

[rwgsnakes]

- "when frozen dinners" are F/T mice- You stay home because your female might be gravid- you have to wake up on a sat at 7:30 to turn on heat lamps

[anji1971]

Originally Posted by Stefan-A

I only fit about half of them.


..at the moment.

Yeah, me too. But I'm aspiring to complete the list someday.............it gives me a goal in life!!

[marty5150]

YOU MIGHT BE A HERPER IF...

1. You've bred rabbits for 15 years, yet have no idea what their average life span is.

2. You hear someone describing their new high-resolution 20" monitor and wonder if 3. it's Australian or Indonesian.

4. The neighborhood animals start disappearing as your Green 'Conda passes the 200-lb mark.

5. Your snakes spend more time in your bathtub than you do!

6. You check the "free to good home" ads daily, yet have no desire to own a mammal.

7. You and a friend are overheard talking about your babies & someone asks about them, and you reply "yeah, my 'baby' is 15' long & weighs around 125 pounds!

8. You have a special drawer to keep perfect sheds in.

9. Your freezer is full but the kids whine that there's nothing to eat!

10.You're the customer at the pet store but answer all the herp questions.

11.You purchase contacts that look like snake eyes so you fit in with your little world at home.

12.You do a double take at the latest prime specimen in your local herp store haunt & as your significant other begins to glare you say "This is it!! The last one I promise!! I promise!"...and you are believed for the very last time!

13.Your mom knows about you & your excursions out into the woods and into the local pet store, and now frisks you down as soon as you enter the house!

14.You tell your girlfriend/mother "that IS the same snake...it just changes colors and body shape. Yeah, it really is growing fast - I changed its name from "Mr. Cal King" to "Annie Anaconda."

15.You quit smoking not to better your health, but out of concern for the effect of second hand smoke on your herps.

16.Your arms say you're an I.V. drug user...your python says you're dinner!

17.Your mind races endlessly as you imagine hatching your next clutch of designer ball pythons.

18.Your bedroom smells worse than your bathroom.

19.You feel guilty picking your "pet" rabbits in front of a group of bunny-adoring children.*

20.You bypass your girlfriend's Victoria's Secret catalog to get to your latest Reptiles Magazine.

21.The employees at the local pet store give you dirty looks every time they see you heading for the small animal section.

22.You've learned that defrosting rodents in the microwave does not work!

23.Your snakes are having a better sex life than you & you're happy about it.

24.You have way more pillowcases than you have pillows.

25.Your best friend's cat died & you wonder if you can have the body.

26.You name your rodents things like "Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner."

27.You drive around on recycling day looking for the biggest piles of newspaper!

28.Your girlfriend gets mad because you spend way too much time in the Rubbermaid container section dreaming of ways to use them!

29.You do your best to give the guy wearing snakeskin boots your dirtiest look & start to wonder if you could get off on just manslaughter.

30.You can get to the center of the newspaper on the first try.

31.People spend big bucks to get rid of rats & mice and you spend bigger bucks breeding them.

32.There is always space to set up yet another cage for your next herp.

33.You stop in a pet store just to look at the reptiles and end up buying a fake plant for a buck so you don't look stupid.

34.Your freezer contains more dead mice than ice cream.

35.You keep your apartment at a constant 85F, with lights pointed at the couch to make a 95F basking spot.

36.Upon seeing the Vanity Fair issue with the picture of Cindy Crawford naked, with a boa around her, the first reaction of my herper friends was "Nice looking snake, distinct markings...must be Boa constrictor constrictor...looks like a Surinam."

37.You go through the store checkout with 18 different fruits and veggies, none of which you plan to eat.

38.You judge the quality of a garage sale by the potential herp housing units for sale.

39.You sleep on the couch but have a lovely reptile setup in the bedroom.

40.You got in trouble with your girlfriend for looking at the "free kitten" ads with a gleam in your eye.

41.The Delta Cargo people recognize you on sight.

42.You've ever told your apartment manager that you'll be able to pay rent after the eggs hatch.

43.Your wrists are so crisscrossed with scratches that people think you're just really bad at trying to kill yourself.

44.You tell people on the phone "I can't talk now, I've got a lizard on my head!!!"

45.Redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in yet another aquarium.

46.You consider collard greens, dandelion greens, parsnips, mustard greens and escarole to be "common vegetables."

47.You have a bag full of pinkies in the freezer next to your chicken breasts.

48.Your neighbors think you're a photographer because they can see a red light in one of your windows every night.

49.You've ever had to lecture a pet store employee/manager.

50.You've ever had to clean mouse guts off of anything.

51.You tell your snake she's "sexy" more often than you tell your girlfriend...and your girlfriend doesn't mind!

52.You find "tongue flicking" an attractive attribute in members of the opposite sex.

53.You refer to a pregnant woman as "gravid."

54.Hetero doesn't mean heterosexual to you.

55.You can rattle off product codes & dimensions for a multitude of Rubbermaid/Sterilite containers without a second thought.

56.You & your significant other consider an afternoon spent cleaning rodent cages "quality time."

57.There's someone in your life who understands why you think baby snake faces are CUTE, and doesn't think you're weird for it.

58.You have a snake that weighs more than you do!

59.All you want for Christmas is RUBBERMAIDS!

60.You skip meals to have extra money for the upcoming reptile show

61.You consider anything with fur and a tail fair game for your boa

62.Your homepage is Kingsnake.com's classifieds

63.Your reptile collection is worth more than your car.